Camisado
by Kuro Guardian
Summary: Hermoine is the Girl-Who-Lived. Nevelle Longbottom is just her adopted brother. Now if only someone could tell Fate that. A hopefully new spin on the "Hidden Savior" genre.


The compartment is closed. It's also locked thirty ways to Tuesday. Hermione dozes ginger hair a bright nimbus 'round her head. Her best friend and adopted brother Neville floats objects about with desultory waves of his grandmother's wand. '17 inches black oak with a core of maedid hair' Gram was a spitfire for sure with such a wand.

The compartment door rattles again as another glory hound tries the knob. Probably more Gryffindors - losers. "If there's any mercy I'll be a Hufflepuff and everyone will leave me alone." He jumps when Hermione's cold hand touches his. "Nonsense. You'll be in Ravenclaw with me, you know that." She smiles the gap in her front teeth utterly endearing when combined with her freckles.

Someone actually bangs on the door, who knows why - oh, wait - "Hermione, Hermione you just had to be the 'Girl Who Lived'." Neville Ganger says it with such a doleful vice and face she can't help but laugh and as always he joins her. Soon enough they lapse back into a slothful daze - "Will I really be a Ravenclaw?" Hermione only snores in answer.

…

The hall is enormous, though the number of people inside helps to keep its size manageable. "I wish I were under a real sky." Smiling in commiseration Hermione squeezes his hand while trying to surreptitiously check her turtleneck. Likewise Neville turns up his collar. "Well this is it 'Moine - soon I'll be a Hufflepuff and you'll be a Ravenclaw, at least I hope so."

Pinching him fro his willfulness Hermione tries to pay attention to the sorting. In what seems at once to be no time and all eternity the severe looking woman calls Hermione. With a smile and a wink the girl releases her brother's hand and walks to the battered stool. In less time then it took to place the hat on her head she is announced as a Gryffindor.

With the composure she is well-marked for she hides her disappointment well and heads to the cheering red-clad table. Then it is Neville's turn. Shrugging his shoulders he nonchalantly strolls forward. As he takes his seat he can see Hermione waving at him. And then his vision goes dark as the hat is unceremoniously dropped on his head.

'Oh, I see, I see. So then you've no use for Gryffindor with it's brashness. Couldn't careless for Slytherin with it's ass backwards prejudice. Don't feel suited for Ravenclaw and only want Hufflepuff so you can hide. My, my your grandmother would've had a hissy fit."

For a moment Neville wonders if anyone has ever given thought to just how creepy a mind-reading, talking hat really is. Probably not - most wizards/witches are point first and maybe ponder later. For some reason that sets the hat to laughing - an odd sound that's more than a little disturbing as well.

'Well lad I reckon it is… You're braver than you know, but Gryffindor is no place for you. You've got no ambition, at least not the kind that'll get you by in Slytherin. Hmm - well you're a bastion of loyalty and love which definitely gives you the stubborn strength of a badger. Yet you have the questing mind, and clear sight one would wish for in a Ravenclaw. Oh my, a badger with eyes turned skyward or a raven with a heart of earth… For Hermione then - "RAVENCLAW!!"

Standing up to greeted by perfect silence Neville meets his sister's eyes. Nodding to her he slowly bows never breaking eye contact. When she erupts in laughter he shrugs and saunters off to sit at the very end of the Ravenclaw table. Head on the table he begins to quietly curse Fate, Genetics, The Founders, and simple human Stupidity as the sorting continues.

Soon enough it's over; Malfoy - Slytherin, Potter - Gryffindor, Wesley - Gryffindor; and there's food. 'Course with half his table mates staring at him like he's got a second head he isn't too hungry. "Pass the potatoes please." Though as a growing boy some hunger logically remains. 'I wonder if I could sling this at that old buzzard's head and not get expelled?' That old buzzard being Albus Dumbledore.

Friend of the late Madame Longbottom or not the old bastard has become an unyielding torn in Neville's side since… Shaking himself from such thought Neville instead wonders how he's suppose to sneak into Gryffindor's tower - or more likely how Hermione's suppose to sneak into his. And he absentmindly sets down his spoon the plates vanish and Dumbledore stands to speak. Forbidden Forest - Forbidden. Third corridor - Forbidden. Long list of toys - Forbidden. Have a great year!

"First years to me! Ravenclaw first years to me! Do not procrastinate, do not lollygag, and certainly do not try me least you find yourself hanging by your ears over the lake." This said the tall rather pinched face seventh year begins to walk. It has been said by even the Slytherins that this particular Ravenclaw does a better then fair imitation of Snape right down to the way his robes swirled around him. They certainly bellow enough to slap poor Neville in the face as the prefect leads the way at a near run.

Thankfully the bastard sets a fair enough pace to have them at the dorm entrance in no time winded and bewildered. The entrance guardian appears to be a moderate-size sphinx statue. 'Typical. A bloody riddle on the first night. I bleeding hate riddles!' Fortunately the first night of any term negated the need for riddles. Tomorrow however they would best be prepared of they wanted to gain admission. "Dorms are clearly marked! If you are too obtuse to thus locate yours then you have obviously been missorted and should - " "Will you shut up you Snape wannabe! Geez, and wonder why you can't keep a girl?"

The speaker a tall, lanky boy with pitcher handles for ears approached. And yes his ears were indeed purple pitcher handles, probably practicing his transfiguration or something. Looking ruffled and exasperated he walks right up to the prefect and snaps his fingers twice. Suddenly a mouth less statue stands where the prefect had been before. Neville like the other first years looks gob smacked unlike others in the common room who merely clap. "Good 'um Wally! Put Brit the Prick in his place!" "What you mean your ass Tyler?" "Naw, your mouth as always Richard. Or are you looking for more of the brown stuff? For your nose I mean."

As the common room descends into vulgar chaos Wally of the pitcher handle ears decides it was time for ickle firsties to go sleep-a-bye. Leading the whole group to a set of seven doors he demonstrates how they work. A girl would open a door leading to a Girl's dorm. Ditto for boys. Calling out words like Bathroom, Main Hall, or House head would connect the door to the nearest door at the stated destination. All in all a rather ingenious parlor trick as would seem par and parcel for Ravenclaw.

Falling face-first into the outrageously soft bed Neville decides magic has it's place. And then a pillow smacks him in the head and some one starts shouting and - Okay so hexing his dorm mates into unconsciousness on the first night is probably not for the best. However, it does allow him to ward his bed and trunk, pull out a certain mirror and draw the bed curtains. "Hermione, please tell me sanity still exists in your neck of the woods."


End file.
